Merry FatGuyBroughtUsPresents Day
by Kadasa-Mori
Summary: Oneshot. After the success of Turkey Day and Jareth surviving his meeting with her family Sarah decides to bring him along for Christmas… oh dear…


**Disclaimer:** I don't own anything/one/place from the Labyrinth. I own everything else! Mwahahaaaa!

**Summary:** After the success of Turkey Day (and Jareth surviving his meeting with her family) Sarah decides to bring him along for Christmas… oh dear…

**Timeline:** Sarah is eighteen. Toby is four. Takes place about three years after the Labyrinth.

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**Merry Fat-Guy-Brought-Us-Presents Day! **

**By Kadasa Mori**

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"Where are we going again?"

"I've told you twenty times this morning!"

"And I've not been paying attention any of those twenty times. Where?"

An irritated sigh. "My Grandmama, Grandmother Williams that is, her house."

"Oh… how far away does she live?"

"Nearly an hour-dammit Jareth! Stop playing with the radio!"

"But I don't like this music."

"Then-oh good god! Just put that CD in! Stop fiddling with it! You'll break it!"

"Fine fine…"

"Good lord. You need to learn how to be patient. One would think you'd have some after dealing with children every day."

"The goblins stole it. Hey, what's this thing do?"

"Ack! Jareth! I'm going nearly seventy miles an hour! Don't open the windows!" She sighed again. "Why did I ever agree to let you come?"

"Cause you can't win a bet to save your life?"

"Shut up."

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"Oh my god…" Joey blinked as Sarah climbed out of her small red four door car, Jareth climbing out the passenger side and looking around in interest. "You actually _brought_ him."

Sarah flushed dark red. "And why wouldn't I?"

"Because, and I quote 'I'm not stupid enough to expose my friends to my family for any longer than absolutely necessary'," Joey said, with a raised finger. Mark nodded his agreement beside him. "You promised that."

Sarah 'hmphed!' "It's not like I had any choice in the matter."

Jareth rolled his eyes. "You lost the bet my dear. Deal with it." She shot him a nasty look as Mark and Joey grinned widely.

"A bet?" the chimed as one. "What bet?"

"Well, she bet that-"

She smacked a hand over his mouth. "And we promised the bet was to be kept between us-EW!" She pulled her hand away, wiping it on her shirt. "Jareth! That's disgusting!"

He gave a half hearted shrug. "Comes with living with goblins my dear."

She sent him a dry look. "As king you should probably start teaching them proper manners."

He snorted. "Let's see you try and teach a goblin manners. And believe me, _I've tried_. It's not a walk in the park."

"Well of course it isn't! It takes time and patience."

"Both of which I lack dearly."

"I'd noticed. Which brings me back to the bet. You promised!"

"I did no such thing my dear. As your brilliant uncle and stepmother once said, 'you promised, we laughed.'"

Sarah shot her relatives a glare, then let out an annoyed huff, stomping off. Jareth smirked after her and turned to Joey and Mark who were nearly falling over themselves laughing.

"I tell the bet. You tell Christmas Party of '02."

"Deal," Joey wheezed, clinging to Mark so he didn't fall over.

"They're a married couple already!" Mark cried, both men bursting into hysterics again.

When Karen turned the corner to find Jareth smirking at the two grown men laughing themselves silly, she raised an eyebrow. He shrugged and she just rolled her eyes. _Men…_

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Sarah entered the house to find Aunt Susan and Aunt Mary in a vicious game of rummy against Richard and Grandpa George, both of whom were, to put this delicately eh hem… kicking Aunty butt. Sarah smirked as Susan let out a wail of outrage, Richard and George counting up their cards and smugly jotting down their scores.

Toby, Noah (Joey and Mary's five year old) and Joey Jr., or Jay (Joey and Mary's five year old) were happily playing a game in another corner, Grandmama Williams helping them along.

Frankie (Joey and Mary's eight year old) was playing video games with Samuel (Mark and Susan's seven year old), both shouting and trying to get to the finish line first while their Grandpapa Williams watched.

Grandma Alice was holding Ryan (Mark and Susan's eighteen month old) and talking to, or rather, listening to Mya and Anna (Mark and Susan's sixteen and twelve year olds respectively) as they gabbed about school.

Sarah smiled faintly and took a seat beside her brother. Spotting his sister he let out a loud shriek of happiness, tackling her and hugging her tightly. She giggled as she was instantly tackled by the other three, hugging each one, giving Toby a kiss on his forehead and allowing him to sit in her lap as he played against his cousins in a battle of monopoly where if Noah liked the color yellow, Jay and Toby traded him their card (and money) for a color they liked.

When Jareth entered the room, he froze, all eyes turning to him. He glanced at Sarah and she smirked. Joey clasped a hand onto his shoulder. "Guess who returned to the asylum!" he called.

The family cheered their congratulations and returned to what they were doing. Not knowing what else to do, Jareth took a seat on the stone around the fireplace beside Sarah, watching the game in slight interest, trying to keep an eye on everyone else.

Karen took a seat beside him. "Did you have to work as well today Jareth?" she asked.

He shook his head. "No, but I figured I might as well wait for Sarah. I had a few things to do around the house anyway." Sarah rolled her eyes.

"Well it worked out then. I'm glad you had such a short shift Sarah."

"Hm…" she hummed noncommittally.

"And I'm glad you joined us again Jareth," Karen smiled brightly. "It's good to have a new face around here."

"Hey!" Susan protested.

"Besides Ryan, Susan."

"Thank you," she grumbled, shooting Richard a nasty glare as he stole her queen. "Sarah! Get over here and help your aunt beat your father."

Sarah giggled and set Toby down, walking over and taking Mary's seat as she gladly gave it up. "What's the game?"

"Rummy," her father said, quickly explaining how to play the game. Jareth walked over, leaning against the back of her chair.

"Jareth, be a dear and take my spot for the next round," Susan ordered, getting to her feet. "I've got to see how Grandma Alice is holding up." He nodded and took her seat, taking each card as Richard dealt them out.

Sarah grinned widely, looking at her cards. "Yay! I've got reds!"

All three men raised an eyebrow. "You'd be an excellent poker payer, Sarah," Jareth remarked dryly.

Richard chuckled as she shot him a glare. "Sarah. You go first."

They went around the table several times before Sarah pouted. "I don't understand this game at all." Jareth chuckled and moved his chair closer, leaning it to see her cards.

"Hm… pick a card up."

She did so then grinned. "Three!"

"Yup. Put those three down," she did so, "and then discard one."

"Which one?"

"Hm… that one."

She put down a red seven and smiled. "Thanks Jareth."

"No problem." He picked up the seven, put three sevens down and his last card discarded. "I win."

She bristled. "JARETH!"

Richard and George burst out laughing, Sarah turning red and scowling angrily at the blond who laughed. "Okay, okay!" He held his hands up. "I'll just help you and not play."

"You'd better," she grumbled. He just laughed and moved even closer so Susan could take her spot again.

Richard tried to keep from glancing at them so much. Jareth's arm was around the back of Sarah's chair as he leaned close to watch her cards and she leaned towards him to keep everyone else from looking at her cards. They were so close at moments their hair touched.

He looked back down at his cards then once more at them. Jareth's hand was holding her shoulder. The last time Richard had seen a boy wrap his arm around Sarah… well they'd nearly lost their fingers. Now Sarah wasn't even reacting, laughing with Susan as she pouted over her hand.

A small smile crossed his face and he hid it by laughing evilly as he got the card he wanted. "I win."

"DAD!"

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"Who wants to go make snowmen?!" Susan cried. Toby and his cousins all cheered loudly and raced for the front door. In a flurry of boots, mittens, hats and gloves, thick coats and scarves, somehow every got outside into the vast field behind the house and into the snow. Ryan was down for a nap, Anna and Richard outside to help with the kids. All four grandparents were in seats around the fire, each with a mug of hot chocolate and sharing stories about the old days. Mya, Karen and Mary were in the kitchen putting the finishing touches on dinner.

Mark and Joey dragged Jareth into the other room and sat him down on the loveseat across from the couch they sat on. Sarah, spotting the two troublemakers with enough blackmail on her to make her contemplate suicide should Jareth ever hear of it, quickly followed in, standing behind the loveseat.

"So the bet?" Mark asked.

Jareth smirked wickedly. "First you tell me of the Christmas Party of '02."

"No!" Sarah shrieked, slapping her hands over his ears. "Don't you dare!" Jareth grabbed her wrists and tugged them forward so she landed against his back.

"So this story?"

"Well, in Christmas of '02 we decided to hold a huge Christmas party." Joey grinned. "Sarah attended, of course. Family was required to attend. Because she didn't want to be left alone, she invited her… 'friend' who also happened to be a boy and several other school friends."

"Well at some point during this party," Mark continued where Joey stopped off. "Sarah's friend who also happened to be a boy was found with one of Sarah's friends in a position that someone who was not their significant other should not be found in."

"Needless to say, Sarah's rage took over and she screamed and shouted and nearly took off his head!" Jareth snorted, feeling Sarah's trembles against his back. "But she didn't. She was a good girl and didn't lay a hand on him. Then the idiot decided that he should try to talk to her again, this time in the _kitchen_, the moron."

"Sarah got fed up with him, told him to leave and he returned with 'well maybe if you took our relationship further I wouldn't have to find someone else to make out with.' This time, Sarah didn't hold back. She attacked!"

"She swung. Missed his head because he ducked but by ducking, he got a knee to a rather… ouchy spot on the male anatomy. Sarah was dragged kicking and screaming out of the room and he had to be carried to his car."

"And everyone at the party promised to be there for any other parties we held," Mark said proudly.

"Glad someone enjoyed it," the brunette remarked dryly.

"I certainly did," Jareth agreed. "Now what's the real story?"

Joey looked surprised. "How did you know that wasn't it?"

"Because there were too many people at the party. Sarah wouldn't be this embarrassed over that."

Joey elbowed Mark. "This kid's good! It was a true story though, just a warning."

"Christmas party of '03, unfortunately." Mark shook his head. "Poor boy never recovered I don't think."

"Alright, real story, we promised."

"You promised not to tell!" Sarah wailed loudly, trying to reach them but Jareth was unfortunately in the way.

"You promised not to tell," Joey said proudly.

"But we were laughing too hard," Mark agreed. "Now the story."

"Yes the story. As Sarah is a grown woman… or rather… she _was_ growing into a grown woman two years ago, Karen and Richard decided to let her have some wine after a small Christmas party. I suppose they gave her a little too much wine because Sarah became drunk."

"Very drunk. Like homicidal hallucinations drunk. She became convinced the stuffed life-sized Santa Claus we had in the hall was out to get her. The frying pan came out and Santa Claus soon became beaten and broken Santa Claus."

"Seriously. His arm was like hanging off by a thread, his hat had disintegrated and his jacket was nowhere to be found. And if he'd had any bones, they'd have been broken."

"But the best part-" Mark burst out laughing.

Joey took over. "The _best_ part was after she finished pulverizing this poor, defenseless smiling cherub, she held up the frying pan threatening and slurred 'and if you even _think_ about giving me coal in my stocking, I will throw you in the bog of eternal stench!'"

Jareth's lips curved into a wicked smile as the uncles fell over each other laughing. He turned to Sarah who was beet red, eyes shut tightly. "_I hate my family. I hate my family. I hate my family. I hate my family. I _HATE_ my family_." Jareth snorted.

When Joey and Mark finally calmed down, Mark waved a hand at him. "Alright. Your turn. The bet."

"Sarah and I were wandering around town the other day-"

"A date?!" both uncles cried happily.

"No!" Sarah snarled at them, hands twitching to try and cover Jareth's mouth, or pummel him into nonexistence, but failing as he held her wrists tightly.

"Yes." She scowled. "And we went into a coffee shop to warm up from the cold and Sarah bet me she could get a discounted, if not free, hot chocolate from the boy behind the counter. I told her she'd fail and when she did fail she had to bring me to the Christmas get together." He smirked widely. "Needless to say, she failed. _Horribly_."

Sarah sniffed and put her nose in the air. "Only because he was as dumb as a doorknob. Couldn't see a true beauty before him."

"Oh?" Mark asked innocently. "Was Jareth the one ordering coffee?"

When Karen heard a roar of outrage from the other room, she sighed, rolled her eyes and headed towards the hysterical laughter. She turned the corner, hands on her hips. "Alright. _Stop_ tormenting Sarah." Sarah was being held back by Jareth who was grinning, Joey and Mark lying on each other and clutching their stomachs they were laughing so hard as Sarah literally breathed fire trying to reach them.

"Sarah!... Beauty!... Jareth!" Joey squeaked out, wiping at his eyes. Mark burst into another fit of unmanly giggles and Sarah snarled at them.

"How am I related to you two at ALL?!"

Karen looked heavenward with a sigh then turned to the blond who was looking back at her. "Jareth, dear. The food's nearly ready. If you could help me set the table."

"Sure." He released Sarah, who grinned victoriously as she descended upon her horrified uncles. Before she could reach them, however, Jareth grabbed her around the waist, leading her from the room. "Come and help Sarah."

She pouted. "But _Jareth_!" He just raised an eyebrow and she sighed angrily. "Fine. You jerk." He smirked and led her to the kitchen.

Karen, Joey and Mark all stared after them, looked at each other, then back after them. "Uh…" Karen turned to her brother and brother-in-law, shell shocked. "Dinner's ready?"

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Sarah glanced down the table nervously. Somehow Jareth had gotten seated at the end of the table, Joey on one side, Mark on the other with Sarah on the opposite end, Susan and Mary on one side, Karen on the other. She sipped at her water and glanced back up at Jareth whose lips were curved into a wicked smirk, eyes focused on Joey was also grinning widely.

_Oh I knew I shouldn't have made that bet…_ she moaned. As though he was reading her mind, he looked up at her and grinned. She turned bright red and looked back at her plate, urging dinner to complete as fast as possible.

Her prayers were answered and the men went into the living room to chat, the grandparents back in front of the fire to snooze and the women to clean up.

"So Sarah," Susan began. "When's the wedding?"

Sarah blinked owlishly. "Wedding?"

"Yes," Mary continued. "You and Jareth."

Sarah flushed. "It's not like that!"

"Oh but it is," Karen added with a smirk.

"No it's not!"

"We can see you with him, Sarah," Mary said warmly. "You're very relaxed, very comfortable."

Sarah frowned uneasily. "I am _not_."

"Aren't what my dear?" All eyes turned to Jareth, Sarah's blush reigniting tenfold.

"Erm… allergic to… shellfish?" An eyebrow slowly rose. "I just… don't like it."

"Hm… your uncles would like to show me pictures of you as a little girl. Is there anything I should be warned about so that I'm not beaten to death like that poor defenseless Santa?"

"Ouch. They told you about the Christmas Party of '02?" Susan asked with a wince.

"And '03." Jareth grinned as Sarah scowled.

"Be warned," Mary said dryly. "While adorable, Sarah dressed up like she was a princess until she was a teenager. What was that play called? The…?"

"Labyrinth," Karen added with a roll of her eyes. "Every day at the park practicing the role of the princess."

No one else really understood why Sarah turned dark red and stared at the floor, Jareth smirking. "I'll be looking forward to those pictures."

"_Goblin king!_" she hissed angrily. "One word and I'll-"

"You call him Goblin King?!" Susan shrieked with happiness. "Oh it's perfect!"

"You're the princess!"

"And he's the dark knight!"

Both of her aunts swooned into each other, laughing hysterically.

"Augh! I hate this family!" Sarah shrieked and stomped off.

Mary winced as the front door slammed. "Oops… we go too far?"

Karen frowned, spotting the brunette storming down the road. "She forgot her coat."

"I'll bring it to her," Jareth offered, grabbing her coat and hurrying after her. All three women spied on them from the kitchen window as Sarah turned and shouted at him, then reluctantly took the coat. After a moment's conversation, he wrapped an arm around her shoulders and led her back towards the house.

Sarah scowled at the three of them as they whistled innocently, but said nothing. Jareth led her into the living room to look at pictures together. Instantly the three women huddled together.

"Oh my gosh!" Mary cried. "That was adorable!"

"He's like magic!" Susan hissed. "Who else has _ever_ been able to get Sarah to calm down so quickly?!"

Karen grinned. "And he's adorable. Girls, this thing might last…"

Susan smirked. "Can I pick out the flowers for the wedding?"

"Only if I can pick out the center pieces for the tables," Mary replied quickly.

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Mary smiled as she found her youngest out cold on the floor. She picked him up gently and headed for the door where people were gathering to leave. Joey helped her get him into his coat and carried him to the car as others swerved around each other to gather coats and boots and hats and scarves.

Jareth, already dressed and ready, leaned against one of the cars in the garage, watching the procession with amusement. Richard stood beside him watching Sarah tease her younger cousins while helping them get dressed and ready to go.

"When's the next party?" Jareth grinned.

Richard laughed. "Not until the end of March. We have monthly family birthday parties instead of attending 19 parties throughout the year, we celebrate each month's birthdays in one party. My father and Karen's brother both have birthdays in March. After that it's April, May, June, August and October."

"Hm… smart."

"We thought so as well." There was a pause, both watching as Jay ran by laughing, Joey running after him with his coat. "So why does she call you Goblin King?" Richard asked vaguely. "Do you love The Labyrinth as well?"

Time seemed to slow as Jareth slowly turned to him. Richard swallowed nervously as the air tightened, just like it had at Thanksgiving. Jareth smirked. "Perhaps you should read the book and you'll understand."

"Erm… I'll get right on that."

"JARETH! MOVE YOUR LAZY A-"

"SARAH WILLIAMS! HOW DARE YOU SPEAK SUCH FOUL LANGUAGE!"

"SUCH UP UNCLE JOEY! YOU SPEAK WORSE!"

"JOESPH WILLIAMS! HOW DARE YOU SPEAK LIKE THAT IN FRONT OF SARAH!"

Richard groaned, hand covering his face, previous conversation forgotten. Jareth just laughed.

"I love this family."

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Sarah pulled up to the park and turned off the car, stepping out to look at the beautiful snowy park. Jareth stepped out of his side and stretched, making his way to her side of the car.

"Thank you for inviting me."

She crossed her arms with a huff. "You won the bet, remember?"

"I would not have come if you truly didn't want me to Sarah."

"Hmph." She leaned against the car, eyes focused on the park. "So… when are you coming back aboveground?"

"Your father mentioned a birthday party in March. If I'm invited, I may come up then."

"Hm…"

"I also know that next month that movie you wanted to see comes out and the following month is valentine's day." She blushed. "So I will see you in a few weeks. Should you need me before then-"

"I'll call." She toyed with her necklace, a small crystal gem dangling from it, his Christmas present to her. Hers to him had been a book on being nice to people as well as a gift card to the coffee shop he enjoyed (not the one she lost the bet at, however, for she'd never step foot in there again).

He smiled. "Good night Sarah."

This time she leaned forward and kissed his cheek. "Good night Jareth. Merry Christmas."

He blinked in surprise then smiled again, stepped back and disappeared. Sarah sighed happily and slid back into her car, heading home.

Behind her, spying from their car, Karen and Richard grinned at each other. They took their time to get back home as to not appear suspicious, gleefully planning out their daughter's wedding and names for grandchildren.

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Author's note:

_**But I heard him exclaim as he drove out of sight, **_

_**Merry Christmas to all and to all a good night!!!**_

Have a fantastic holiday season and a very happy new year! Good luck to everyone in 2009!

**Kadasa Mori**


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